So, clearly, I’ve been ignoring this blog for a while. I’ve had plenty of ideas for things to write about and several projects to share (I’ll get to those someday). The primary reason I have been MIA is that I just, flat out, haven’t had the time to organize my house, my thoughts and…let’s be honest, myself to the point where I could sit down and write!
You see folks, what I’ve come to realize is…I fall into a limbo that no one talks about in the MommyHood. I’m an unusual (albeit, becoming more and more common) breed of mommy that does not fall into one of the two main categories. You know the two…the two that seem to be in constant battle for first place in the order of Mommy-Dom… The “stay at home” mommy and the “working” mommy.
Me? I fall somewhere in between.
Do I stay home with my kids? Yes, but not full time.
Am I employed outside of the home? Yes, but not full time.
So what I’ve found is this…as one of these new fangled hybrid-mommies, there is a level of expectation between home life and work life, that I should have time to do it ALL.
Because I “only” work part - time, I should have plenty of time for all the “mommy”-“family” stuff, including (but not limited to): Little League volunteering, soccer manager, PTA, housecleaner, chauffer, personal chef, costume maker, classroom volunteer, nurse maid etc.,, AND do it while still fitting in time at the gym? (please)
However, working “part time” in my field is really code for “full time work at part time pay in a reduced amount of time”…which means I do a lot of work from home at crazy hours so that it can all get done…which leaches into the “mommy” time, without the pay (at least the monetary kind…which, let’s be real…is the kind I need to help support my family…hence the working in the first place).
Forget about the elusive (and I’m convinced, imaginary) “me” time that so many of my purebred mommy friends manage to squeeze in. The word “down time” during an average week doesn’t exist in my lexicon. It’s a constant juggle of multitasking (or at least feeling guilty for not doing one thing or another on my never ending To Do list).
The other thing about being a “partially” stay at home Mom is, that you don’t necessarily gain admission to the full Mommyclub. You know, regular play dates at the park, during-school breakfasts, evening wine tastings etc., since you often can’t commit due to a work schedule. This can be isolating and confusing. Its like the cheap Disney Pass with lots of black out dates!
Don’t get me wrong….I’ve got a GREAT gig going and this has been entirely my own choice. I have a (relatively) flexible schedule and I enjoy what I do. I’m able to be an active participant, on an ongoing basis, in the lives of my children AND show them that a woman CAN be a strong contributor to the family finances and SHOULD have interests outside the home (all of which I feel is important in the raising of two boys).
More and more, I’m seeing other mommies either re-enter the work place on a part time basis OR reduce their hours at work in order to increase their “kid-time”. So what will they call us, this new breed of Mommy? The Hybrid Mommy? The On the Fence Mommy?? I don’t know…but I do know we are out there. Anyone else have these same feelings???